


Scared of what she'll say

by dylemma91



Category: The Owl House (Cartoon)
Genre: Amity Blight Has a Crush, Angst, F/F, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Gay Disaster Amity Blight, Humor, Love Confessions, Oblivious Luz Noceda, Pining, Romance, canon compliant through episode 17
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:41:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26172127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dylemma91/pseuds/dylemma91
Summary: Amity wants to tell Luz how she feels - she just can't figure out how.When the truth accidentally comes out, she's afraid she's ruined everything.
Relationships: Amity Blight/Luz Noceda
Comments: 28
Kudos: 433
Collections: Lumity Oneshot Faves





	Scared of what she'll say

**Author's Note:**

> The inspiration for this fic comes from "Fallin for You", the wonderful Lumity animatic by Misted Pearl on Youtube (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXHLtYfx43E). It's seriously amazing and you should totally check it out if you haven't seen it. Full credit to Misted Pearl for the idea - I loved it so much I just had to expand on it.
> 
> This show and this ship got me to write fanfiction for the first time in six years, and this is actually the first fanfiction I've ever posted (so please be gentle with me!)

_  
How do I tell Luz I like her?  
_

_ I can’t stop overthinking it… _

Amity stared at the words she'd written in her diary, willing the question she had posed to answer itself. If only the pages could talk back! She desperately needed some advice, but there was no one she could turn to. Ed and Em would tease her endlessly if they knew….

_ Knew that I have a big stupid crush on a girl I used to hate? Yeah, I’d never hear the end of it. _

Amity sighed in frustration, burying her head in her hands. Why was it so hard to tell Luz how she felt? Why was it so hard to even form coherent sentences around Luz these days? Lately, she seemed to turn into a blushing mess every time the human girl was nearby.

She needed to do something about this crush, before she completely embarrassed herself.

_ Like you haven’t already. _

Fortunately, Luz appeared not to have noticed anything strange about the way Amity had been acting around her since Grom. But it was becoming clear that not everyone was as oblivious as her fearless champion. Willow had been shooting significant looks in Amity’s direction ever since the Grudgby match against Boscha, and Amity was fairly sure the other girl was onto her. 

If Willow had noticed, others might have as well. She needed to come clean about her feelings to Luz, before any rumours started spreading. Amity didn’t want Luz to hear about her crush secondhand.

If only she could figure out how to tell her.

_ Grom was supposed to be my chance. But then I got chosen to be Grom Queen, and, well, I was scared. Getting rejected was my greatest fear, after all. _

_ IS my greatest fear. _

But she and Luz had faced their greatest fears, together. Amity had been brave for Luz then, and she could be brave for Luz again.

_ But what if she doesn’t like me? Not the way I like her, anyways. What if she’ll only ever see me as a friend? _

_ At least you’ll know. That’s better than the not knowing, isn’t it? The endless pining and daydreaming and stumbling over your words… _

_ But what if she hates me? _

Well, there it was. The root of the problem. Amity could (probably) handle Luz not liking her romantically. But what if Amity’s feelings made Luz so uncomfortable that the other girl could no longer be her friend? That, Amity couldn’t bear. Luz was the first real friend she’d had since her childhood friendship with Willow had ended. 

Amity had been pretending to be someone she wasn’t for years. With Luz, she could be herself.

_ She’s never judged you before. You know she’ll let you down easy, if she doesn’t feel the same. _

_ But my feelings might still scare her away. _

_ You trust her, don’t you? _

She did. She did trust Luz. But this was big, and it would change the relationship between them no matter how Luz felt. 

_ I’m scared of what she’ll say. _

Still, Amity knew she had to do it. If she could only figure out  _ how… _

Suddenly, her scroll buzzed, interrupting her thoughts. She reached for it, and felt familiar butterflies when she saw Luz’s name.

**Luz: wanna meet @ library for wailing star? :)**

Wait, that was tonight? Amity had been so caught up in her crush-induced anxiety spiral, she’d completely forgotten. Starting to gather her things, she typed a quick reply while trying to ignore the excitement building in her chest at the thought of seeing Luz.

**Amity: see u there :)**

She was about to head out the door when she suddenly remembered her diary, still open on her desk. The words  _ How do I tell Luz I like her  _ seemed to blaze like neon signs, irrefutable evidence of her crush.

_ Can’t have Em and Ed seeing THAT. _

She slammed the diary shut, then hesitated. Her siblings had read her diary before, and although they had apologised, she didn’t trust them not to do it again. Flipping the diary open, she located the incriminating page and tore it out, hurriedly crumpling it up and stuffing it in her pocket.

_ I’ll get rid of it on the way. Don’t want to keep Luz waiting…  _

*******

Sitting with Luz, Amity pondered the strange way that time behaved whenever she was around her crush. Hours passed in what felt like minutes, and yet she was hyper aware of every moment spent in the other girl’s company. Always dreading the inevitable moment when they would part ways. 

Her world was brightest when Luz was around.

How much time did they have left?

The two of them were happily ensconced in Amity’s secret hideout, having spent the past hour or so idly chatting about school and the Azura books while they waited for the Wailing Star to arrive. Amity was mostly succeeding at keeping her cool, barring one instance where Luz had sat down  _ much  _ too close to her while Amity attempted to show her something in the book she was reading, their arms touching as Luz leaned in.

The physical contact had set her cheeks on fire, butterflies swelling in her chest as though they were trying to break free. She’d completely lost her train of thought, trailing off in mid-sentence as her brain focussed on more important things. The warmth of Luz’s skin, felt even through her clothes. The way she smelled like sunlight. How the light danced across her dark hair…

“Amity? You ok there, buddy?” Luz had asked, breaking her out of her reverie.

“What? Oh, yeah, totally fine! Just… zoned out for a minute. Sorry!”  _ Nailed it, Amity. _

Even now, though she’d made an excuse to move seats in the hopes of avoiding any further such incidents, she couldn’t stop herself from stealing covert glances. They were reading in companionable silence – well, Luz was reading. Amity had read the same paragraph roughly 24 times.

_ She’s just so pretty,  _ she thought, watching as Luz scrunched up her nose in concentration,  _ and her hair looks so soft. _

_ Oh, how does anyone survive this?! Amity Blight, top student, defeated by… feelings. _

_ Dancing with her at Grom was so romantic… well, for me, anyways. Was it romantic for her as well? _

Before Amity’s thoughts could stray too far down that path, a sudden wail cut through the night.

“Amity! The Wailing Star! It’s here!” exclaimed Luz as she slammed her book shut, eyes alight with excitement. Pulling a notepad out of her bag, she promptly began scribbling. Amity watched, captivated, a soft smile playing on her lips. She loved seeing Luz like this. Animated, happy, fully herself. Luz was the most expressive person Amity had ever met.

All Amity could think about was how adorable she was.

Luz finished up her drawing. “Ta da!” she exclaimed, as Azura’s staff, robes and hat popped into existence, “Luzura’s back, baby!” Amity laughed as she brandished the staff at imaginary enemies.

“Take that! Ok Amity, your turn. Draw yourself as Hecate!” 

Luz handed her the notepad, and Amity smiled.  _ " _ Okay, but one of these days I get to be Azura, _ "  _ she replied, reaching into her pocket for a pen. 

Pulling it out, her fingers brushed against crumpled paper and Amity could swear she saw her entire life flash before her eyes.

_ No! _

Horrified, Amity watched as, seemingly in slow motion, the crumpled page from her diary fell out of her pocket and rolled towards Luz. She felt frozen in place, unable to do anything but watch as Luz picked up the paper and unfolded it.

_ How do I tell Luz I like her? _

_ I can’t stop overthinking it… _

There they were, the words that gave away her biggest secret, that exposed her to her deepest fear. And there she was, a tiny Amity rising from the page, blushing, lovestruck, admitting her feelings, giving her away.

Luz’s eyes were wide, shock written plainly on her face.

_ Not like this! Please, not like this! _

“No!” Amity shouted, launching herself out of her chair and at the offending piece of paper. In her haste, she tripped over the chair leg, landing in an ungraceful heap on the floor. Cheeks burning with shame, she scrambled to her feet and raced out of the room, avoiding Luz’s gaze.

_ She looked so shocked. Oh, she hates me now, I know it! _

_ I’ve ruined everything… _

Bursting through the library doors, Amity collapsed onto the top step, struggling to gather herself, to hold back tears. She buried her head in her hands as shame and embarrassment washed over her in waves.

_ She wasn’t supposed to find out like this. Oh, I wish I’d never written anything in that stupid diary! _

_ She’s going to hate me now. I’ve ruined our friendship. _

_ I ruin everything. _

“Amity!” Luz burst through the doors after her, and like a cornered animal Amity shrunk deeper into herself, willing Luz to go away, to leave her alone.

No such luck. She felt Luz’s hand on her shoulder, and flinched away as if burned.

“Amity?”

“I’m sorry, Luz.” She kept her gaze averted, afraid of what she might see in the other girl’s expression. Pity, maybe. Or worse, disgust. “You weren’t supposed to see that. You weren’t supposed to find out like this.”

The tears were coming now, in spite of her efforts to hold them back. She wiped a sleeve across her face, angry with herself for being so weak.

“Amity, I-”

“I have to go.”

And then she ran. She ran all the way home, thanking the stars that her leg was fully healed. Only when she made it back to the privacy of her own room, did she allow herself to fully give in to the pain and embarrassment. Sobbing into her pillow, all she could see was the shock on Luz’s face as tiny Amity confessed her feelings.

_ She doesn’t like me. Not like I like her. _

_ I messed everything up. _

***

Luz was having a truly amazing night.

She loved spending time with Amity, and she especially enjoyed times like these when it was just the two of them. With Amity, she was free to geek out as much as she wanted to over Azura. Amity was the only girl Luz had ever met who loved those books as much as she did.

And it felt nice, to be here with Amity, in her secret hideout in the library. It made Luz feel special, knowing that Amity trusted her enough to let her into her private space.

It made her feel warm inside.  _ Amity  _ made her feel warm inside, in a way Luz didn't fully understand. 

_ Does this mean Amity is my best friend? Is this what having a best friend feels like? _

Luz didn't have enough experience with friends to know the answer to that question, but she did know that she never got tired of Amity’s company. Quite the opposite, in fact.

Luz turned her attention back to her book, getting halfway down the page before she realised she’d already read that part. Possibly more than once. It was funny, how she seemed to get distracted more easily whenever Amity was around.

She stole a quick glance at the other girl, admiring her profile. Amity was so pretty. Luz had always thought so, even before they were friends. She had looked especially beautiful the night of Grom. The way the moonlight shone in her eyes when she and Luz danced together…

Thinking of their dance reminded Luz of Amity’s greatest fear, and of the note she had seen.

_ Who could Amity like?  _

_ Whoever it is would be lucky to have her. _

Amity hadn’t wanted to tell Luz about her crush that night, and Luz hadn’t asked her again. She didn’t want to push, but she hoped that Amity would eventually trust her enough to tell her. Then, maybe Luz could help Amity and her crush get together.

From some reason, that idea didn’t please Luz as much as she thought it would.

The arrival of the Wailing Star put an abrupt end to that train of thought, and Luz was honestly grateful for the interruption. She could think about Amity’s crush, and this weird reaction she was having, some other time.

Luz had had the idea that she and Amity could use the power of the Wailing Star to turn themselves into Azura and Hecate, and then act out their favorite scenes from the books. She didn’t hesitate to put her plan into action, transforming into ‘Luzura’ and instructing Amity to do the same with Hecate. But as Amity pulled out her pen to start drawing, a crumpled piece of paper fell out of her pocket and rolled towards Luz.

Luz had reached for the note and was unfolding it before she remembered the diary incident, and realised this might be something Amity didn’t want her to see. The thought came too late - she saw her name on the page and the next thing she knew, a tiny Amity was rising up out of the paper.

“How do I tell Luz I like her?” tiny Amity asked, plaintive and unsure, “I can’t stop overthinking it”.

_ Wait, what? _

Luz stared at the page, eyes wide in shock. She could feel a blush dusting her cheeks as the full meaning of the words hit home.

_ Amity likes me? _

_ Amity likes ME? _

_ Wait, was I the one she- _

“No!”

Startled, Luz looked up to see Amity scrambling out of her seat, reaching desperately for the paper she still held. Stumbling, lacking her usual grace, she landed on her knees before righting herself and sprinting out of the room, her face flushed scarlet.

_ Oh no… I really upset her! This is just like that time with the diary. Why did I open it? Stupid! _

Luz rose to her feet, crumpling up the paper and closing her notepad, making tiny Amity and the Azura costume disappear. She had to find Amity and apologise right away. Hopefully the other girl could forgive her for breaking her trust.

She’d think about her newfound knowledge, and what it meant, later. Right now Amity was upset and it was her fault. Luz had to fix it.

She made a beeline for the library entrance, and found Amity just outside. The other girl was sitting on the top step, head in her hands. She looked miserable.

“Amity!” Luz cried, rushing towards her friend, who made no response. Tentatively, she placed a hand on Amity’s shoulder, but the other girl flinched away. Pushing down the stab of hurt she felt at the rejection, Luz tried again. “Amity?”

“I’m sorry Luz,” Amity said, her voice thick. She kept her eyes down, refusing to meet Luz’s gaze. “You weren’t supposed to see that. You weren’t supposed to find out like this.” Her shoulders shook, and she wiped a sleeve across her face. Was she crying?

_ Oh, no. _

The knowledge that Amity was crying - that Amity was crying because of HER - hurt Luz more than she would have thought possible. She swallowed the lump in her throat.

“Amity, I’m sorry,” she tried to say, but the other girl cut her off.

“I have to go.”

And just like that, she was gone, leaving Luz to try and sort her way through a VERY confusing mix of emotions.

_ Amity likes me. I’M her crush! _

_ I made Amity cry. _

_ I have to fix this! _

***

Luz sat alone in her room, thinking. Trying to figure out what to do about Amity. 

She’d walked home in a kind of daze, and come straight up here with the intention of formulating a plan of action. But she’d quickly realised that there was an important question she needed to answer first.

How did she feel about Amity?

_ I definitely like her. She’s probably my best friend, and her friendship means everything to me. But do I LIKE like her? _

Luz groaned in frustration. She had next to no experience in the romance department. Real life experience anyways - she’d read plenty of stories. But she wasn’t entirely sure she knew what romantic attraction felt like, and how it compared to feelings of friendship.

_ Well, I DO feel differently around Amity than I do around Willow and Gus. But I thought that was just because she started out hating me, and I was so happy we’d actually become friends. Plus, we have so much in common! Of course she's special to me.  _

_ And she liked someone else, so there was no point in thinking about whether my feelings might not be totally platonic. _

But Amity didn’t like someone else. She liked LUZ.

The warm feeling in her chest was back.

_ I DO like being close to her. I like hugging her, holding her hand. Dancing with her… _

Luz smiled, thinking back to the dance they had shared the night they defeated Grom. Amity in her pretty dress, eyes shining. The warmth of her hand in Luz’s. The swooping feeling in her stomach when Amity had pulled her close, their faces mere inches apart.

Close enough to kiss her, and for a second Luz had wondered if she would.

_ Did I want her to? _

Amity’s moonlit eyes, her smile as she took Luz’s hand and led her into the dance. The feeling of Amity’s arm around her waist. The way they had worked together seamlessly to defeat the threat. 

Amity, facing her greatest fear to protect Luz. Even though her greatest fear was that Luz would reject her.

Amity, teaming up with them against Boscha in the Grudgby match. Pushing Luz out of the way and taking the hit for her. Luz had carried her all the way to the nurse’s office.

Amity, working hard to patch things up with Willow. Standing up to her old friends, throwing her lot in with Luz, Willow and Gus. Risking her parents’ disapproval.

Amity, slowly letting her guard down as their friendship grew. Welcoming Luz into her secret room, into her life.

Luz smiled. 

_ Yes. I wanted her to _ .

***

Amity sat slumped on her window seat, forehead resting against the cool glass as she watched the early light of dawn creep over the horizon. It had been a long, sleepless night.

She’d cried for what felt like hours, wracking sobs giving way to more subdued tears that came and went. But eventually, she’d cried herself out.

Now, though her eyes were swollen and heavy, Amity felt strangely calm. A kind of exhausted peace had come over her. The waves of heartbreak and crushing embarrassment that had plagued her throughout the night had receded, leaving behind a dull ache in her chest. 

She closed her eyes, wondering if she should try to sleep. Wondering how long she could stay up here before someone, her parents or the twins, came looking for her.

_ At least there’s no school today. I couldn’t face her… not yet. _

The ache in her chest grew sharper, and she tried to push thoughts of Luz away.

_ Sleep, Amity. You need to rest, need to pull yourself together. You can’t go downstairs looking like such a wreck - they’ll know something’s up. _

She focused on deepening her breathing, willing her body to relax. To sleep...

Then something hard hit Amity’s window, the force of the impact reverberating through her skull and startling her so badly that she fell off her seat.

“Ow”, Amity groaned, rubbing the arm which had broken her fall.  _ What on the Isles was THAT? _

Wide awake now, she crawled back to the window and cautiously peeked out, looking for the culprit. 

A very familiar and uniquely anxiety-inducing culprit, as it turned out.

“Luz!”

The soft cry escaped Amity’s lips before she could stop herself. In a panic, she ducked down beneath her window, desperately hoping the other girl hadn’t heard.

When was she going to learn that when it came to Luz, luck was never on her side?

“Amity!” Luz called, voice shattering the morning stillness, “Amity, is that you?”

_ She’s going to wake the whole house! If Mother and Father see her- _

Not wanting to finish that thought, Amity quickly opened her window.

“Amit-”

Amity shook her head frantically, motioning for Luz to be silent. “SHHH! I’ll come down,” she whisper-shouted, and then raced from the room. She had to get Luz away from the house before anyone woke up and saw the human girl.

Of course Luz would just show up outside her window, without a word of warning. It was such a Luz thing to do. Amity should have seen it coming. 

Luz was impulsive. She often acted before she thought, and she got into all kinds of crazy shenanigans. That was just Luz, and Amity, the chronic overthinker, loved those things about her.

_ Stop that. You need to conquer those feelings. _

Amity made her way out of Blight Manor as quietly as she could, sighing with relief as the door closed silently behind her. She didn’t think she’d disturbed anyone.

One hurdle overcome. But she still had to deal with Luz.

The other girl was waiting where Amity had left her. She smiled when she saw Amity approaching, and hurried to meet her. “Amity! Can we talk?”

“Shh! Not here,” Amity whispered. Motioning for Luz to follow, she made a beeline for the woods that surrounded Blight Manor.

“Why all the secrecy?” Luz asked, once they were safely hidden in the trees.

“My parents can’t know you were here,” Amity replied, more sharply than she’d intended. “You saw what happened with Willow,” she added, by way of explanation.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

An awkward silence descended. Amity found herself looking anywhere but at Luz. She could feel the other girl’s eyes on her.

“Amity, I-”

“Luz, I’m-”

They stopped, confused. 

Amity risked a peek through her lashes. Luz was absently scuffing the toe of her shoe in the dirt, arms crossed and eyes downcast. Her cheeks looked faintly pink.

_ Is she… blushing? _

_ I must be seeing things. _

Luz must have sensed she was being watched, because she raised her eyes to meet Amity’s. “That’s better,” she said, though her smile wavered. “I don’t like it when you won’t look at me.”

_ She’s acting strange. Do I make her that uncomfortable? _

Amity sighed. “Luz, what are you doing here?” she asked, already knowing the answer.

_ Just tell me we can’t be friends anymore and get it over with. _

Luz stood up straighter, seeming to steel herself. “I came because I need to tell you something. Well, a couple of things…”

_ Here it comes. _

Amity found that she didn’t want to hear Luz say it. “It’s fine,” she interjected, “If you can’t be my friend anymore, now that you know… it’s ok. I understand.”

Luz looked genuinely confused at her words. “What? No, Amity, of course not! I would never stop being your friend!”

Now it was Amity’s turn for confusion. “Then why?” she began, but Luz didn't let her finish.

“Amity, I came because I wanted to apologise. I shouldn’t have opened the note. I should have known it was private. I’m sorry.”

_ She’s apologising. Letting me down easy, like I knew she would. At least she still wants to be my friend. _

“It's okay. I accept your apology.”

_ " _ I'm really glad to hear that, _ " _ Luz said, looking relieved. Then her expression turned serious.  _ " _ But that's not the only reason I'm here. There's something else I need to tell you. _ " _

_ Uh oh. _

Amity waited apprehensively while Luz hesitated, reaching for something in her pocket. She looked nervous. 

“I actually had this part all planned out,” Luz admitted, holding up her phone. “I was going to play you a song from my favorite anime, but since we’re trying to be quiet that’s probably not a good idea… and now I’m getting off track. Wow, this is harder than I thought it would be. Come on, Luz! Focus!”

Amity could only watch, bemused, as Luz squared her shoulders like she was gearing up for a fight.

“Amity Blight, will you be my girlfriend?”

Wait, what?

_ Girlfriend? _

Amity felt her entire face heat up as the word  _ girlfriend _ reverberated around in her brain. “Wh-what?” she stammered, once her powers of speech had returned. “You like me?”

“Yes!” exclaimed Luz, smiling widely and reaching out to take a stunned Amity’s hands in her own, “Amity, I like you so much. I think I have for a while now, and I just didn’t realise it. Until last night.”

“Oh,” Amity said, returning Luz’s smile with a small but hopeful one of her own, “I like you too. Obviously.”

She was blushing again.

“I have for.. a long time now. Honestly, I can’t believe you didn’t notice anything. I don’t think I was exactly subtle,” she added, with a self-deprecating laugh.

“Turns out I’m pretty oblivious,” Luz replied seriously, and then she was grinning at Amity and Amity was grinning back, and she quite simply could not _ believe _ this was happening.

“Amity,” and Luz was definitely blushing now, “Can I… kiss you?”

Okay. Wow. Her blush from before was nothing compared to this. Was her face actually on fire? Amity was sure she must be as red as a tomato.

Would Luz still want to kiss her if she was a tomato? 

_ Focus, Amity! _

“Y-yes,” she answered breathlessly, trying VERY hard not to pass out.

Luz beamed at her. “First, we need some romantic lighting!” she pronounced with her characteristic Luz enthusiasm, bending down to draw one of her light glyphs. The gently glowing orb appeared above them, bathing the dim forest in warm light.

It was almost as beautiful as Luz.

Luz took her hands again, drawing her close. Her brown eyes gazed deep into Amity’s, and Amity felt like she was drowning in them.

“Amity, will you be my girlfriend?” Luz asked again, soft and earnest.

“Yes,” said Amity, and then Luz kissed her.

It was brief, and fumbling, and a little awkward. It wasn't exactly how she'd imagined it would be, in her many Luz-related daydreams.

It was so, so much better.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I feel like Luz would totally want to do the 80's movie thing of showing up outside her crush's house with a boom box. Only she's way too young to have a boom box, so phone it is!
> 
> Thanks for reading! Let me know if you enjoyed it :). I might write more for this ship - I just can't get enough of these two.


End file.
